My Testimony

I figured that it would be fitting that I share my testimony in conclusion to this project.


I know that the church is true. I know that Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet of God and that Joseph Smith restored the gospel to the earth today. I know that families can be together forever. I know that we are given trials, because Heavenly Father knows that we can overcome them. Even though, during the trial we may not feel that way. I know that Heavenly Father loves me, and that he knows me by name. I know that I am never alone. I know that the power of prayer is real, I have seen it in my own life, as well as in the lives of others. I know that if we are doing our best to live a righteous and faithful life, that we may one day be able to return to live with our Father in Heaven. I know that the Book of Mormon is the true word of God and that it can help us live a better life if we follow the teachings found within.  I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.



My testimony of the family has grown stronger while taking this class. Not only have I learned what it takes to be a good mother, father, citizen, but I have also learned how to be a better person. This project has taught me a great deal about myself. Things I need to improve on, and things that I need to stop or start doing. I will forever be grateful for this opportunity that I have had to learn while taking this class about the family. The family truly is a precious gift from God.

If you would like to learn more about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints please visit: http://www.mormon.org/

The Eternal Family: A Plain and Precious Part of the Plan of Salvation

The family is central to the creator's plan for the eternal destiny of his children...

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life.

http://www.mormonchannel.org/come-follow-me-the-plan-of-salvation?v=2142448096001

In Successful Marriages and Families it reads,

" From the beginning, God organized the human family and revealed that marriage and family relationships are intended to be eternal.  Latter- day prophets have taught that while Adam and Eve were sealed in marriage for time and all eternity, the time would come when the doctrine of the eternal family would be lost to mankind."

President Hinckley described the central role of the family in God's plan for the salvation of His children, when he stated:

      " We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."

Plan of Salvation

" The plan presented by our Father included many of the doctrines involved in the plan of salvation, including the doctrine of eternal families and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. In this council, we learned that "the plan of redemption" required a Savior to take upon the pains and the sicknesses of his people as well as the sins of his people, thus allowing those who would live and die, sin and repent, to eventually return and dwell in the presence of God."

Creation, Fall, and Atonement

"The great plan of happiness" presented by our Heavenly Father in the premortal council was and is divinely designed to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. The plan of redemption is founded upon three major doctrines: the creation of the earth and of all mankind, the Fall of Adam, Eve, and their posterity, and the atonement of Jesus Christ.

The Creation and Our Divine Origins and Destiny

Joseph F. Smith and his counselors in the First Presidency issued a statement that included the following: "Man is the child of God, formed in the divine image and endowed with divine attributes, and even as the infant son of an earthly father and mother is capable in due time of becoming a man, so the undeveloped offspring of celestial parentage is capable, by experience through ages and aeons, of evolving into a God. 

Marriage, Families, and the Fall

The Proclamation teaches that we came to earth to obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection. The fall of Adam and Eve allowed the Lord's plan for marriages and family to continue forward by making it possible for Adam and Eve to have an increase as they added children to their family.

The Atonement 

Understanding the doctrines of the Creation and the Fall are essential if we are to comprehend who we are and the purposes of challenges in life. 

The Book of Mormon prophet Helaman taught: " Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, ea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

Elder Hugh B. Brown stated: " The family concept is one of the major and most important of the while theological doctrine. In fact, our very concept of heaven itself is the projection of the home into eternity. Salvation, then, is essentially a family affair, and full participation in the plan of salvation can be had only in family units."

Faith in Family Life

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith [and] prayer.

In Lectures on Faith, Joseph Smith defined faith not only as belief but as the principle of action in all intelligent beings.

The fourth article of Faith reads: We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the gospel are: first, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ ; Second, Repentance; Third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of their sins; Fourth, laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

If you would like to read the other articles of faith, please visit this link: http://www.mormon.org/beliefs/articles-of-faith

One thing that I really enjoyed about this chapter was that it shared quotes from not only members of the church, but from members of other religions. It goes to show, that many people are grateful for the families that we have been blessed with.

Dimension One: Religious Community and Family

"When we work with people, it helps us to keep our own struggles in a better perspective and they don't become a burden, just a part if life... [Also], I personally believe that people are at their happiest when they're serving others... Service in the Church... is based on doing things for other people, [going] outside yourself." - William, Latter-day Saint father of six.

Dimension Two: Religious Practices and Family

" Praying together as a family and reading the scriptures... together is probably the best [thing we do to pull us toward Heavenly Father and each other]. ... It feels right. It feels good... I'm grateful to... be able to do that. If my family that I grew up with ever would have done that... It would have been a fond memory that I would have held, but we never did. [ Our family now] should pray more, but when we kneel together and hold hands as a family, it brings the Spirit in [ to our home] and makes the children feel right... and [ teaches them] that this is what they need to do with their families- and I'm sure they'll remember it. It's special." - Shauna, Latter-day Saint mother.

Dimension Three: Religious Beliefs and Family

" There's something that... when as a family your hearts are pointed together toward the same thing, and it's God, then parenting and economics and space and food and disagreements and hassles and joys and celebrations and all that other stuff... it works different, it seems different, it feels different... Our family is all oriented in the same way. Christ is king, He's the center, He's what it's all about... Our faith informs our relationships and everything about us." - Joseph, non- denominational Christian Father.

I am extremely grateful for the family that I been blessed with. I couldn't imagine life without each and every one of them.

Marriage in the Later Years

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between a man and a woman is essential to His eternal plan... The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave.

In the book, Successful Marriages & Families it lists the following:

Challenges Facing Mid & Later Life Couples:

Empty Nest: "It's important to build a good relationship with your spouse so that when the children leave, you have the underlying joy of focusing on each other and not your adult children."

At this point in time, couples must draw together, rekindle their romance, and begin to redefine themselves as marital partners as well as parents or individuals.

Retirement: " People need to prepare emotionally for retirement, people planning to return need to retire to something, not just from something, because adjusting to less money and being home all the time is a real change."

President Ezra Taft Benson shared, " The Lord knows and loves the elderly among His people. It has always been so, and upon them He has bestowed many of His greatest responsibilities. In various dispensations He has guided His people through prophets who were in their advancing years. He has needed the wisdom and experience of age, the inspired direction from those with long years of proven faithfulness to His gospel... How the Lord knows and loves His children who have given so much through their years of experience!"

I love the elderly! Yes, sometimes they talk forever about memories from their past, but I feel that they are the teachers of us today. We can learn from their experiences. One thing that my grandpa has shared with me, (too many times to count, I might add), that when he was little he walked to school uphill in the snow. I find it funny that he shares that with us every time we are talking about the weather being cold or having to walk somewhere. Even though it is something so small and silly, it is one memory that I will always have of him. I challenge everyone to take the time to talk to their grandparents about their lives, before it is too late. They will be fun stories to share with your future generations.

Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness.

Rearing children in love and righteousness- The following are crucial elements for each child, although specific implementations and approaches may be individualized based upon the needs and personality of each particular child:

• Love, warmth, and support
• Clear and reasonable expectations for competent behavior
• Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise
• Reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits
• Opportunities to perform competently and make choices
• Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline, such as hard physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming, and inflicting guilt
• Models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes.

One of the assignments we did in my class was we took a parenting style test, I would recommend that every parent take this test, to see how they can improve and what they should change.

http://www.activeparenting.com/Parents-Parenting_Style_Quiz 

Elder Joe J. Christensen a member of the Seventy stated, " We should avoid spoiling children by giving them too much. In our day, many children grow up with distorted values because we as parents overindulge them... One of the most important things we can teach our children is to deny themselves. Instant gratification generally makes for weak people."

I really enjoyed this quote. Growing up, my parents always made sure that we had what we needed, and a little of what we wanted. I feel that my parents had a great balance in this and taught us how to work for the things that we want instead of just being given them.

Love

The first of the three characteristics of authoritative parenting is love, or connection.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, " Every child is entitled to grow up in a home where there is warm and secure companionship, where there is love in the family relationship, where appreciation one for another is taught and exemplified, and where God is acknowledged and His peace and blessings invoked before the family alter."

I grew up in a home, always knowing that I was loved. I knew because my parents told me and they showed me that they loved me. One thing that I struggle with is being able to tell my family that I love them. I love them, but I would rather show it than say it. I don't know why I don't say it, but I don't. It is one thing that I want to work better at doing.

Limits

The second element of authoritative parenting is limits, known in the scholarly literature as regulation.

"In authoritative homes, parents are clear and firm about rules and expectations. Authoritative parents take responsibility for setting the appropriate number of rules that can be realistically remembered and enforced. Some children may require more and varying types of rules and punishments than others, depending on their individual natures."

Latitude

The third component of authoritative parenting is latitude or autonomy. Children benefit from being given choices and appropriate levels of latitude to make their own decisions in a variety of domains.

Elder M. Russell Ballard shared, " Helping children learn how to make decisions requires that parents give them a measure of autonomy, dependent on the age and maturity of the child and the situation at hand. Parents need to give children choices and should be prepared to appropriately adjust some rules, thus preparing children for real- world situations."

I am very grateful to my parents for preparing my for real- world situations. When I came to college, I was so surprised to see how many people did not know how to do things for their selves. I was very self-efficient because my parents taught me to be. 

I would like to end this post with one last quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley: ," Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none other is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts becomes life's most satisfying compensation."

Which Way do you Face?

Today I went visiting teaching and decided to share the General Conference talk by Elder Lynn Robbins called, Which Way Do You Face? If you have a few free minutes, I would encourage you to read or watch this talk.

Parenting in Gospel Context: Practices Do Make a Difference

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God, and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.

The above paragraph is a small portion of what is written in The Family: A Proclamation to the World.  The Proclamation makes it clear that Heavenly Father expects parents to have a significant influence in the lives of their children. " Gods plan for His children may be ideally characterized as the placement of children into homes where parents are committed to their development and proclamation principles are practiced. No other arrangement is as effective, as demonstrated by the First Presidency's call to parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility."

Recently I spoke to my dad regarding an assignment for this class and he told me that sometimes you cannot parent each child the same way. Every child has a different personality and a different learning style. Because of that, each child needs to be parented differently. What works for one, sometimes does not work for the others. I have seen this within my family. I have three sisters and we all have different personalities. This made it so they had to parent us differently. Yes, we were all raised the same way, with the same values, but disciplines were adapted to the child. My parents made a great effort to speak individually to each of us to see what was going in our lives. My dad made it a point to talk to us one on one whenever the time allowed to see how we were doing and he was always willing to give advice or a Priesthood blessing when it was needed. My mom always made sure we were having a good day, and offered to help if we did not. With me being up at college, I talk to my mom at least 1 time a day on the phone, and I try to talk to my dad as much as I can. I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas when I can be home and see my parents and family face to face. 

They Cannot Be Lost: Temple Covenants Save Families

" The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally."

There is a beautiful song that I feel goes extremely well with this chapter but there was not an option to download it so I have included the link that should lead you directly to the song. http://www.mormonchannel.org/music-videos?v=2098657586001

President Boyd K. Packer reminds us, " it is a great challenge to raise a family in the darkening mists of our moral environment." Times are tough and with so much temptation in the world today, people are falling away from not only the gospel, but from their families.

Elder Orson F. Whitney taught: " The Shepherd will find his sheep. They were his before they were yours- long before he entrusted them to your care; and you cannot begin to love them as he loves them. They have but strayed in ignorance from the Path of Right, and God is merciful to ignorance. Only the fullness of knowledge brings the fullness of accountability. Our Heavenly Father is far more merciful, infinitely more charitable, than even the best of his servants and the Everlasting Gospel is mightier in power to save than our narrow finite minds can comprehend."

The chapter goes on to share stories of members of the church who have fallen away, chosen a different pathway to live their life, and they eventually came back to the church. One thing that I loved that was mentioned in one of the stories was that the story, just like our lives today is an unfinished book of life. And like all of our stories, it is unfinished. If we are living our lives in a way that is not pleasing to the Lord, NOW is the time to change and bring ourselves closer to Christ. 

The Saving Power of Temple Covenants

Elder Orson F. Whitney stated, " When a seal [the everlasting covenant] is put upon the father and mother, it secures their posterity, so that they cannot be lost, but will be saved by virtue of the covenant of their father and mother." I have met and talked to many members of the church that have had children fall away from the gospel. I feel that this simple statement would bring happiness to the parent's lonely hearts. 

President Henry B. Eyring reaffirmed Elder Whitney's testimony in the October 2009 general conference: " The story of the prodigal son gives us all hope. The prodigal remembered home, as will your children. They will feel your love drawing them back to you. Elder Orson F. Whitney, in general conference of 1929, gave a remarkable promise, which I know is true, to the faithful parents who honor the temple sealing to their children: "Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold."

This chapter had so many great quotes that I feel discuss and teach this topic way better than I could. I would like to end with two final quotes.

President Boyd K. Packer stated, " Now, sometimes there are those that are lost. We have the promise of the prophets that they are not lost permanently, that if they are sealed in the temple ordinances and if the covenants are kept [by the parents], in due time, after all the correction that's necessary to be given, that they will not be lost." 

Elder D. Todd Christofferson shared, " I urge each one to qualify for and receive all the priesthood ordinances you can and then faithfully keep the promises you have made by covenant. In times of distress, let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact. Then you can ask in faith, nothing wavering, according to your need, and God will answer. He will sustain you as you work and watch. In His own time and way He will stretch forth his hand to you, saying, "Here am I."

I have decided to include a picture of my family with this post.

Something Divine

Equal Partnership between Men and Women in Families

The Proclamation teaches that gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose, a gender or sex presents at least one way we will differ in the eternities.

Here is a list of things that the chapter lists that we believe to be true about the equality, both here and in Zion, of men and women in God's kingdom: equal in blessings, equal in power, intelligence, wisdom, dignity, respect, giving counsel, giving consent, agency, value, potential, authority, exalted fullness, virtue, spirituality, and spiritual gifts; equal in temporal things in Zion; and equal heirs with Christ.

Elder Earl C. Tingey said, " You must not misunderstand what the Lord meant when Adam was told he was to have a helpmeet. A helpmeet it a companion suited to or equal to us. We walk side by side with a helpmeet, not one before or behind the other. A helpmeet results in an absolute equal partnership between a husband and a wife. Eve was to be equal to Adam as a husband and wife are to be equal to each other.

"A marriage of equal partners will also be one in which the partners help one another in their stewardships, indeed, are obligated to help one another as equal partners."


My parents have an equal partnership. One thing I remember from my childhood was that when we would ask my mom if we could have a friend sleep over, she always said let me ask your dad first. They made these decisions together. I cannot wait until I can have an equal partnership with my future spouse and we can raise our kids in love and righteousness.

"Honor Thy Father": Key Principles and Practices in Fathering

I also really enjoyed reading this chapter. My dad is an amazing father! He has provided for my family and we have never had to go without. He is an extremely hard worker and I love him a lot. I hope to marry someone that has the qualities my dad has in the near future.

I couldn't pick just one Mormon Message to go along with this subject, so I have included two. I hope you will take the time to watch each of these and ponder the messages that are presented in each of them.

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, we read, " By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness."  This statement makes clear three fundamental realities regarding fatherhood:
1. Fathers are directed to take upon themselves the responsibility of spiritual leadership in family life as part of a loving Eternal Father's plan for family functioning.
2. A father's responsibility to preside occupies the first and foremost duty among the varied obligations that rest upon men in family life.
3. The manner in which a father is to exercise spiritual guidance among family members is explicitly articulated: " in love and righteousness."

Parenthood is a partnership. A fundamental principle in fathering is to partner with others in raising a child, including the child, the child's mother, extended family members, and the larger community.

The Family Proclamation also states that fathers are to provide for their families.  It also states that Fathers are to protect their families. " Perhaps the most important aspect of protecting children occurs as fathers model appropriate and righteous behavior in their own actions and choices."

I would like to end this post by sharing a paragraph in this chapter, " Fathers have the ability, for good or ill, to exercise great power and influence in the lives of their children and families. Power alone, however, is not what a father truly needs, nor does he need only the ability to influence and direct a child's life, thoughts, and feelings. A father needs the power to bless, which might be called "power in righteousness." Men do not bless by the mere exercise of power. They bless only by the exercise of power in righteousness. This is especially true of the exercise of priesthood power. To be a holy figure in the life of a child, in the life of a family, requires an association with powers that exist beyond our own mortal abilities. Power in righteousness comes only as we associate ourselves through prayer and sacred living with the powers of heaven."

Mothers as Nurturers

This was such a neat chapter to read! First off, I would like to start by saying that my mom is amazing! She is such a loving and caring mother. I love her so much and I hope to be as good of a mother to my children, as she is to me!

In our day and age, motherhood is being criticized. I have been reading lately how people think that mothers should not stay home with their children and that they should just go to work. I disagree. A mother should do what she feels is best for her and her family at that time in their lives. Growing up, my mom was a stay at home mom. There are four kids in our family with an age range of 24- 11. My mom stayed home and cared for us, came to our schools for performances, award ceremonies, helped at our schools, etc. My parents were able to financially work it so that she could stay home and care for us. I can't even imagine what it would have been like if I wasn't able to call home because I forgot my lunch, if I didn't see my mom helping in my elementary classes, etc. My mom was/is always there when I need/needed her. My mom recently decided to go back to work, and that's because we are all old enough now and this is what works best for her at this time. Like I said earlier, it all depends on what works for a family at the present time. Some mother's never go out into the work force and get a job. But, that doesn't mean she doesn't have a job. Over the years, I have seen my mom "go to work." She cooks, cleans, does laundry, cares for us, helps with homework. And those are only a few of the things she has done for us.

This chapter contained so many great quotes that I would love to share:

President Spencer W. Kimball stated, " Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord's spirit children, and then in rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments."

President Thomas S. Monson said, " May each of us treasure this truth:... One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one."

Elder Bruce C. Hafen & Sister Marie K. Hafen said, " Just as a mother's body may be permanently marked with the signs of pregnancy and childbirth, [the Savior] said, "I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands." For both a mother and the Savior, those marks memorialize a wrenching sacrifice- The sacrifice of begetting life- for her, physical birth; for him, spiritual rebirth."

President David O. McKay declared, " Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world."

Ways that Mothers nurture their children and influence development:
1. Helping create an environment of safety, peace, and learning.
2. Through the emotion work they perform to maintain and strengthen individual well- being and family relations.
3. Teaching their children.

In Successful Marriages and Families it ends the chapter with this quote that I feel we should all be aware of: " There is no work in which the Lord takes greater interest than in the nurturing and rearing of our children. Because of that, we can be assured that He will strengthen mothers in their holy calling. Truly, motherhood places her who honors its holy work to the angels, for nothing could be of greater significance to God than the nurturing of His little ones- His precious children."

Foundational Processes for an Enduring, Healthy Marriage

This chapter focuses on key personal characteristics that lead to marital virtue-based interactions, as well as key interpersonal processes that bless marriages and prevent disruption.

Foundational Process #1: Personal Commitment to the Marriage Covenant
         The Family: A Proclamation to the World, makes it clear that marriage is a purposeful, divinely created relationship, not merely a social custom, and that couples have God-given covenant obligations to one another. In a talk called The Covenant Marriage Relationship, Elder David A. Bednar referenced the marriage triangle. The Savior is positioned at the top of the triangle with man and woman on the other sides. As the man and the woman come unto Christ, they also become closer to each other.

Foundational Process #2: Love and Friendship
        "husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other."- The Family: A Proclamation to the World. John 13:34 reads, " A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another;As I have loved you, that ye also love one another." This scripture sets a standard for the pure love of Christ that should be sought in marriage. Elder Marlin K. Jensen of the Seventy emphasized, "a relationship between a man and a woman that begins with friendship and then ripens into romance and eventually marriage will usually become an enduring, eternal friendship."

Successful Marriages and Families lists several things that couples can do to nurture love and friendship. They are: get in sync with your partner's love preferences, talk as friends, respond to bids for connection, and set goals for couple interaction. The chapter then goes on to list actual activities to accomplish these things.
1. Respond to bids for attention, affection, humor, or support. An announcement of, "I've had a rotten day" can be met with an acknowledgement of feelings, a hug, and an invitation to talk more about it.
2. Make an effort to do everyday activities together, such as reading the mail or making the bed.
3. Have a stress- reducing conversation at the end of the day. This involves reuniting at the end of a busy day to see how things went, and listening to and validating one another.
4. Do something special every day to communicate affection and appreciation.
5. Keep track of how well you are connecting emotionally with each other, and make enhancements when necessary.

Foundational Process #3: Positive Interaction
        Positive interactions with your spouse are vital to a healthy marriage. One thing that the chapter suggests is to enhance positive interaction in marriage, that you should focus on your spouse's positive qualities. President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, " I have witnessed much of the best and much of the worst in marriage... Faultfinding replaces praise. When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles." This quote from President Hinckley reminded me that we need to set aside our differences with others, step back, and see what a great child of God they are. We all have differences, and those differences are what make us unique.

Foundational Process #4: Accepting Influence from One's Spouse
       "Accepting influence refers to counseling with and listening to one's spouse, respecting and considering his or her opinions as valid as one's own, and compromising when making decisions together." Part of the recipe for a happy, healthy marriage is for both partners to share equal ownership and influence in all family affairs. The Proclamation states that men and women are obligated to help one another as equal partners and that they will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

Foundational Process #5: Respectfully Handle Differences and Solve Problems
       Elder Joe J. Christensen of the Seventy taught that, " any intelligent couple will have differences of opinion. Our challenge is to be sure that we know how to resolve them. That is part of the process of making a good marriage better." This chapter listed two ways to prevent problems in a marriage. They are: have charity and hold regular couple councils to discuss potential problems or differences. It goes on to list some advice on how to prevent problems and handle differences within marriage: eliminate destructive interaction patterns, calm yourself first, bring up the concern softly, gently, and privately, learn to make and receive repair attempts, soothe yourself and each other, and reach a consensus about a solution.

Foundational Process #6: Continuing Courtship through the Years
      What are some things couples can do to keep courtship alive through the years?
              - Attend to the little things
              - Be intentional about doing things every day to enrich the marriage
              - Spend at least five hours a week strengthening your relationship


Elder F. Burton Howard of the seventy shared this great quote, " If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It become special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by. Eternal Marriage is just like that. We need to treat it that way."



I really enjoyed reading this chapter and learning the various different ways to have a happy, healthy enduring marriage. I have seen a happy and healthy marriage in my parents, and it makes me extremely excited to work towards a happy, healthy, and enduring marriage one day as well.

Young Adulthood and Pathways to Eternal Marriage

Jason S. Carroll, the author of this chapter states, " Although societal attitudes are changing about marriage and the transition to adulthood, the Lord's prophets have always emphasized the importance of marriage according to God's plan. Despite the emphasis the Lord's prophets have always placed on forming celestial marriage relationships, we live in a time when many people see the path toward marriage in a different life." People in the world, choose to live together before they are married and to have inappropriate relationships before they are married. This chapter goes on to list some of the pitfalls of current dating practices. Here are a few that are listed: Pessimism about marriage, getting ahead before getting wed, hanging out and hooking up, and an acceptance of cohabitation. It is really tough living in a world where people do not have strong moral values. I want to have a forever family, so I choose not to participate in those things.

Another big section in this chapter is finding a choice eternal companion. I am not married yet, so I really enjoyed this section. The Lord's Prophets have taught these "principles of finding" and have centered them primarily on teaching young people. These principles are: 1. When they should seek to get married. 2. Whom they should seek as a marriage companion. and 3. How to date in ways that will most likely lead toward the formation of eternal marriage.

When? - We are to prayerfully consider the timing of marriage in our own lives. " Marriage may or may not come during young adulthood, but young people should prepare themselves so that they are ready when a right opportunity presents itself." We are to trust the Lord and have faith in His timing. It will happen, when you and the Lord feel that you are ready.

Who? - Finding your Eternal Companion vs. a soul mate. Maintaining a relationship requires work, patience, personal growth, compromise, commitment, and sacrifice. Instead of a desire to find a soul mate, our desire should be to become eternal companions with our spouse in this life. " Eternal Companions are different than soul mates. While soul mates are found, eternal companions are chosen and made. Two people become uniquely suited for each other as they go through the experience of life together and learn to adapt and grow in ways that make them a better fit with their spouse."

How? - Elder Oaks encouraged young adults to date rather than hang out. He counseled young adults to engage in traditional dating patterns that can lead to exclusive dating, engagement, and marriage. Elder Oaks also taught that the goal of traditional dates is conversation and interaction, not entertainment. "A traditional dating experience provides young adults with greater self- awareness, greater appreciation of the range of potential partners, and greater preparation for marriage, which leads to wiser decision making about a marriage partner and increased confidence in later courtship." Once the couple feels comfortable with traditional dating, they move on to exclusive dating. This should only happen when couples are exploring a potential marriage relationship and then they can come to a decision on whether or not they should move forward to an engagement. " This transition should happen with open discussion between the partners."

The Proclamation: A Guide, a Banner, and a Doctrinal Summary of the Church's Emphasis on the Family

The above video, explains how important it is to have a close, loving family. 

A few semesters back, I took a class called Family Foundations. In this class, one of the assignments was to memorize The Family: A Proclamation to the World by the end of the semester. I really struggled with this at first. I didn't see the point in why we needed to memorize it other than to receive a passing grade. As I started to memorize it, my heart was changed. I grew to love and appreciate every single word that was written in the Proclamation. I do not remember every word that is written in the proclamation today, but I remember quite a few phrases. If you have not had the time to read through the Proclamation fully, and to ponder the words that are written, then I would suggest that you do so. I am extremely grateful that I was given the opportunity to memorize the Proclamation, and because of that experience, my testimony on the family has been strengthened immensely.

In, Successful Marriages and Families, it states, " The proclamation has been translated into more than 80 languages and distributed to thousands of citizens and leaders around the world." I think that it is amazing that it is translated into so many different languages for those around the world to read. I carry a little copy of the Proclamation in my scriptures. If you do not have one, I suggest you get one. For as long as I can remember, my parents have always had The Family: A Proclamation to the World hanging on a wall in our home. It is a great reminder on how we should love, care for, and honor our families.

Assignment

The purpose of me making this blog first and for most is because it is an assignment for one of my classes. But I also hope to learn a great deal by completing this assignment. And I hope to teach others as I share quotes from our Textbook, "Successful Marriages and Families," quotes/ videos from the Prophets and members of our church, and my personal thoughts on each of the topics.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

       As a student at Brigham Young University Idaho, we have the opportunity to take classes that not only make us better people, but that strengthen our testimonies of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- Day Saints. This semester I am enrolled in a class called The Family. Within this course, we focus on learning about The Family: A Proclamation to the World. If you haven't read it yet, I suggest that you do. Here is a link:  https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation . Throughout this semester, I will posting about different topics that can not only help me, but help you understand the Proclamation a little better.